Sermon in China (April 2008) that address exactly my inner struggles of spiritual pride and temptation to cross boundaries set by God. Also, other lessons in the China trip.
- We treat God as a genie to complete our tasks.
- We take opportunity into our own hands.
- Waiting on God, listen to his voice. His timing and opportunity are the best. Don't let our impatience crowd out his blessings.
- Pastor conference without agenda or program, just listen to God's vision. Leads to repentance.
- We are a people measured by success. It is better to have and hear God through failures than not have God in our success.
-
What about timely opportunities? God only cares about opportunities with eternal significance.
- Pastor
Wang's repentance, wait on God for every decision. Exactly his wife's
prayer. We all need prayer partners, asking us poignant questions
weekly.
- One well known capable pastor knows his own pride
due to success. Asked his wife how many capable pastors in HK, his wife
replied 'one less than you think.'
- Our worldly success induces pride. That is most dangerous in spiritual realm.
-
Going through rapids on your own by feeling the stone will not work.
What makes you think that spiritual world is as tamed as your own
physical world?
- This point is exactly what God wants me
to learn, and in fact signed it with the Spirit's touch of my heart
responded with uncontrolled emotions.
- I have been struggling with desires that I admit are natural, which I can respond with right or wrong ways.
-
My pride suggests that I can handle the dangerous dabbling into the
wrong side, so as to gain knowledge and perspective that I would not
ever have, in the name of exploration.
-
There is the danger of sinning against God, and I know that most
Christians would shy away from it. But anticipating such response, I
find it useless to get advice from another. But after much exchange
with God, He responded to me with the clear loving warning through this
sermon.
- I will obey Him, even if it means sacrifice of
my desire and knowledge. I will trust that He will fill my desires in
better ways.
Song in recess:
Are my eyes tricked by beguiling things of the world?
Wisdom gleamed from the rest of my China trip:
- humble in spiritual matters, learn to obey, and rid of even respectable sins
- the dangers of spiritual pitfall is like a motorbike accident.
- warning about starting investment or company only if directed by God good preparation
- financial failure != not guided by God
- brothers in harmony = agreement with Jing to confirm God's direction
- dont fight for 出头，(extra breath,) but in Christ, bear with one another with long-suffering
- like the jailed pastor, remain in Christ to be joyful, and sacrifice for His sake to be useful and yet fulfilled in all his needs
Lesson on Humility
On the connecting flight in Beijing, the incident of my running to the
wrong gate cause me to reflect on my opinionated "fallibility".
That
Jing didn't yell at me allow me to think further about "mercy" - how
you treat others when they erred, make dumb mistakes, wronged you, hurt
and harm you, even if done deliberately.
When
I first seek God, I dwell on the positive aspect of desire and
admiration. What we like about God reveals our inner yearning. Now I
have to deal with the issue of giving up my "self", particularly deal
with pride. This begins to reveal the journey of faith through the
negative aspect: Am I willing to be merciful when wronged, and say
sorry when my pride wouldn't? (The famous Prayer of Francis Asissi came
to mind. Chinese weblinks leads to the original and thorough
translations.)
My stumbling block: I am angry at God when he did not do my bidding and
work out for my plans. In my marriage, this led to my sins and
determination to do things my way. My self pride not yet given up the
throne to the Spirit. I want to get even when wronged. I want to stay
being admired and appreciated. Otherwise I am not nice at all.
Sacrifice as the test of our Faith
- Chinese Christians can sacrifice.
- In the West, we may be Christians out
of economic convenience, or tax benefits. The best test for our genuine
faith within Christianity is if we do the inconvenience in the only
area left: our inner pride.
- Faith and daily cross demands inconvenience and sacrifice. Will we die to self?
- Not
by my own power, for it would come from the very self that we try to
crucify, and would lead to strengthening of pride. We can only do so by
the power of the Spirit. (See Tim Keller's chapter within Reasons for
Faith, alluding to Jeckel and Heide).
Humility 2 (After return to US)
In the past few months God has been working on my pride.
He already put it in my heart prior to the Beijing trip, as I have been struggling with the concept of respectable sins, which I know God dislikes. During the trip, my insights and my fallibility at the airport focus my thoughts on those lines.
The sermon by Brother Huang tremendously wake me up to the spiritual reality of the dangers of sin, beyond my ability to gauge its dangers.
After coming back to the US, though I was sufficiently inspired by Brother Huang's lesson, I still find myself particularly irritated at work, when others infringe on “my” territory. I have noted that we remain nice as long as we are in control.
During the Labor Day weekend, I had to deal with the issue of giving up my quant position. That led me to face myself, and God, in a realistic way. Afterwards, learning to submit to whatever God has install for me, and accepting the humble position of not being a snob in my firm anymore, I am starting to truly be humble, no longer thinking myself higher than others.
Reading “90 minutes in Heaven” helped me during those days to be reminded of the reality of God, His goodness, power and genuine care for our individual situations. Consequently I recommitted myself to His control.
Then, reading through “Praying through deeper issues in marriage”, I had to face my unforgiving spirit. I am further inspired by the miracles that God can do in one's marriage, even if one side prays. I started to devote myself to prayer for my wife, children, family.
Furthermore, for the first time in my life, I accepted the genuine importance of prayer. (Prior, I feel that I can do much of the stuff naturally, or by economic means. I had little need for God's supernatural intervention, even though I witness many.) Now I start to focus on the genuine real life issues that money cannot solve. I am committed to pray for everyone around me in a brand new way.
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